Postman Pat's Magic Christmas (2004)

• 74%
• 2004
• Animation
• Chris Taylor

It's Christmas in Pat's hometown and he has decided to start genetic experimentation on Jess, his cat. He believes that the addition of four extra legs will be a fine Christmas present for the cat, as it will make Jess run faster. However, after a minor calculation error, Pat accidentally splices the cat's head to the back of his own neck. Unable to rech the head of the cat to remove it, Pay decides to just call it a day and go to bed.On Boxing Day, Pat feels strange upon waking up. He feels a strange urge taking over him. The urge... to kill. After reading up on supernatural and scientific explanations, Pat discovers that the brain of the cat he accidentally fused to his neck is slowly taking over his own, and it wants revenge against the whole Universe for reasons not explained until the sequel.It's the 27th December and Pat sits in his Postal van ready to resume normal duties. However, his eyes suddenly become slits and he begins to laugh maniacally. He goes to the local B&G and purchases several rolls of peach wallpaper, a bonsai tree and a chainsaw. After eating both the bonsai tree and the wallpaper, Pat switches on the chainsaw and murders everyone in the shop. He collects their severed bodies and collects them in his van."You must collect 100 corpses that have been murdered by your own hand." Whispers the cat in his ear. "Then you must deliver them to their destinies..."It has been decided. Pat then proceeds to kill many of the inhabitants of his little village, and send them by 2nd class Royal Mail tracked to their friends and relatives. Over the years, Pat grows slowly more insane, which explains why he ate his own hands.After successfully taking control of North America, Pat declares himself leader of the world.Until one day, the cat dies. Pat crashed his van into a river and the cat drowns, and Pat returns to his senses. Horrified by the terrible acts of violence he committed, and perplexed by how he drove the van without any hands, pat decides to take the easy way out.After realising that the easy way out is no longer easy because all of the easy methods require him to be holding things, Pat goes to see a professional assasin, whom he hires to kill himself.The assasin complies, and thus endeth the saga of Postman Pat.