Cauliflower Cupids (1970)

• 52%
• 1970
• Comedy
• Jane Russell
• Jake LaMotta
• Willie Pep

Johnny Stiletto (Peter Savage), "godfather" to the Cauliflower Cupids gang (six world boxing champions), decides to leave his life of crime so his daughter can have a better life. But the Cupids won't let him go because they need his smarts and they've gotten used to their success. Johnny is torn between his loyalties to his gang and his family when he catches his daughter in bed with her upper-crust boyfriend, and he decrees that they must get married. But Aunt Nira (Jane Russell), the boy's widowed guardian, stands in the way. Stiletto discovers that gorgeous Nira is a fortune-hunting fake who is just waiting for her rich, old Uncle Bruno to pass away, and she doesn't want any riff-raff to get in the way. Stiletto assigns his gang members to chaperone the kids while he gets a bead on Nira. He and his loyal crew kidnap Uncle Bruno and bring him to their swinging club to learn a thing or two about him. Soon he and Stiletto hatch a plan to get rid of Bruno's annoying, money-hungry relatives (and allow Stiletto to put one over on Nira at the same time). Stiletto snags a makeup artist to make him up as Uncle Bruno so he can pretend to die in front of his relatives, dictating his "new" will as he goes. Aunt Nira finds out, and tries to "persuade" Stiletto to be fair... and he seduces her. Meanwhile, back at the Mob, bumbling Detective Honest John (Alan Dale) is tailing Stiletto and the Cupids. The boys corner him, escort him to their hideout, accuse him of police brutality and hold a mock trial with Jake La Motta and Rocky Graziano as prosecutors. Stiletto's daughter and her boyfriend continue to sneak away together, despite the gang's attempts at intervention. Stiletto fluffs his feathers at his cruel deception of Aunt Nira when she turns the tables on him with evidence she stole from Honest John. Uncle Bruno, a gleeful old scoundrel, takes over the gang, leaving Stiletto to serve out his sentence as Nira's cabana boy for the seven-year statute of limitations she is holding over his head.